To the Socially Awkward: It’s Okay!

You step away from a conversation, inwardly cringe, and think: “Ach, I shouldn’t have said that.” Later that night, as you lie awake dwelling on something better you could’ve—should’ve—said, it dawns on you that you just might be socially awkward. If not all the time, then maybe once or twice in life you’ve imagined a better verbal comeback or healthier line of encouragement after the fact.

I’d had a week of those kinds of interactions. Although I’m naturally a reclusive introvert, I’ve learned to get along when I must. I don’t hate people; in fact, I love people how God has commanded us to. People are interesting. It’s just that I’m more of a thinker and observer. When I feel the need to say something, I prefer to spend time pondering it first. Anything abrupt isn’t usually my mojo; I don’t have the gift of gab. A one-on-one is great, or with a few I know well, and I can be quite talkative then. But add a few more or a group setting—especially among people I hardly know—and I can become the unintentional comedian by putting my foot in my mouth. Because I get verklempt in a mix, not necessarily emotional, just overwhelmingly uncomfortable when I get pulled into a cluster conversation.

So my communication wires had gotten snaggled up in unavoidable circumstances all week long, and I’d embarrassingly wished I could have a redo (or write about it instead of respeak it). But what was said was said. And in a moment while taking a private “thinking walk” where I needed to stop and exhale with a sigh of reticent acceptance, I glanced up and saw that right above me was a branch caught in the wires from an earlier storm. I thought, yep, that’s about right. That’s what it looks like when interactions get awkwardly caught up in the stormy social wires, tangled and stuck. Perfect timing, Lord. I took a picture for memory’s sake.

You might think, “What’s the big deal?” But if you’re at all a loner or reserved type, social situations can sometimes feel like storms from which you need to repair and recover.

Later that day, I got in a mix again when I only heard part of a conversation and suggested a line that when taken completely out of context (because I hadn’t gotten the whole gist) made people laugh. Fortunately, those who know me know my heart and that no harm is intended, and these were kind souls, but I sure was embarrassed. I should’ve kept my mouth shut—at least until I understood the whole situation.

 

Context is everything. But those who are socially awkward or introverted can sometimes miss it (caused by that getting verklempt thing). So is timing—timing is everything, I mean. As I was probably pinked-faced and out in the parking lot gathering my calm after that last interaction, I heard the Lord’s reassuring voice say: “It’s okay!” I glanced up and right at that moment I saw a shiny blue heart balloon right above me floating swiftly across the sky. That was a symbolic affirmation of peace that touched me in that moment. From branches caught to a heart of peace all in one day. The Lord is tender toward us.

Sometimes we do need to gently repair matters in conversations with others if an offense has been made. And we need to lean on the Holy Spirit to give us discernment over those matters. But if you stumble sometimes socially just because it’s not your innate propensity to be verbal, it’s okay. God’s communication, which never fails, and his timing, which is perfect, covers us where we feel like we fail or are short on the right words or a sum of them.

Context is everything. So is timing. God, you are perfect in every way.

~Psalm 18:30: “What a God he is! How perfect in every way! All his promises prove true. He is a shield for everyone who hides behind him.” (TLB)