I Can’t Shake the Feeling…

I can’t shake the feeling that somebody’s waiting on me. Although, I believe in my sphere I’ve dotted all the i's and crossed the t's, and nobody I’ve met or personally know of is waiting on me for anything. Yet, in my spirit, it feels like someone is waiting on me, or for me, for… well, something.

I wonder if this is how God feels, since everybody he knows—which is everybody—is waiting on him to do something, pull strings for them, or perform a miracle. We are needy people. But God is God, so among all the wonderful attributes about him, he’s omni-patient. That means having endless patience and the ability to endure all things. It says in 2 Peter 3:9: “The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” Yes, he gives humanity time to turn to him, but the scripture also suggests that as people we might feel like he’s slow or neglectful. I mean, come on already, God! (that’s me thinking). When on the contrary, he’s perfectly mindful of our situations; he’s intentional about bringing everything to its proper place, because our situations usually affect other people’s situations. I see it as sort of like a divine domino effect. If, by chance, you get tired of waiting and take matters into your own hands, step out of the line God carefully set up or laid out for you, then you can mess up or alter the succession. Because we’re each a tile in God’s strategic plan. I believe he gives second and third chances, but that doesn’t mean that others in the same line don’t suffer or have to adjust, or wait longer (a delay anyone?) for someone to get back to it or for things to fall right into place.

Because I’m such a word geek, I was inclined to look up a simple dictionary definition of WAIT. It means to stay in place in expectation of: await. This reminded me of a recent dream I had. At first, I thought it had to do with deportation, for the Lord has had me interceding through some of that crisis. However, the dream panned out a little differently and changed my perspective. In my dream, I saw a person locked inside a shipping container, only much smaller and with a prison-like window. The compartment was watertight, and they were floating helplessly in the ocean. I felt their anxiety, restlessness, anger, and disbelief. And as oddly as dreams sometimes go, I saw the container “bump” into a few ports, except none of these ports were the home port; they were foreign. Because of that, the person couldn’t leave their container, and their already meager provisions were dwindling. (This could have several potential connotations).

 

Anyway, after the dream, I wondered, is that a thing? Literally, like in seafaring. Do people, such as ship crew, get stranded at or near foreign ports?

 

It’s part of the Holy Spirit’s nurturing and authoritative character to guide and direct. He knows my heart better than I do, and he’s my mind-reader as well. I’m grateful for this, for he helps keep me honest. So I find what often happens when I begin to ponder a topic, is an article or something of interest pops up out-of-the-blue on my feed screen or catches my attention somewhere. That’s the key here, though: to be tuned in and watching for his clues.

 

Bluefoss. That’s the name of a ship, and one I’ll use as an example on this subject. Apparently, this chemical tanker was abandoned by its owners at the port of Takoradi, Ghana, in 2022. Several Cuban crew members were left stranded, unpaid for a painful length of time, forbidden by port authorities to leave the vessel, and had to live off the charity of others depending only on provisions kindly brought to them. Disconcerting news, it appears as if this is a real concern in modern shipping with growing supply chain disruptions, tariffs, war sanctions, or other complications. The world’s a mess, and I think seafarers are probably some of the hidden first who unexpectedly get a punch in the face of it.

 

The not-so-dreamy dreamed-about container was also airtight. So yeah, suffocating. It represents a suffocating situation. It felt real, and although I didn’t “know” the person inside, I cared deeply about them. Emotionally speaking, I experienced the situation as if it were me in there. The person was expecting and anticipating getting out, stretching their legs, feeling the sturdiness of land, to walk freely away, maybe into the open arms of a beloved who was waiting for them, too. But they were stuck. Entrapped in what appeared to be forever. At the mercy of God to intervene.

 

It was troubling, yet also purposeful in that I was led to pray for someone who was waiting hard, and the wait was just getting harder and more pressing. I think the person inside was waiting for another individual to let them out. Except they were welded in, and the only one who could do it, release the person, was God. When the dream ended, it was God who, in a kind of mechanical reversal, used strength and specific tools needed to not just free the person but also reverse the welding. To not only free the dear one but give them a clean start that made it seem as if the container-prison period never even happened.

 

You know what? I might not be in a container, but I’ve been waiting on God for what feels like a drawn-out time for him to apply the specific tools needed to set my feet on different soil. He’s shown me that I have a future and purpose that involves other people. Not wishy-washy, meager nourishment, an entrapped situation, but solid ground for my feet to stand and walk freely on. I anticipate getting there, to that which he’s called me and to the lovely people who are called in the same way too. So yes, in a sense, somebody’s waiting on me. I have more than a hunch. But they’re not really waiting on me, they’re waiting on God… as am I.

 

So if you can’t shake a feeling, chances are good that you’re feeling a connection or an alert to someone or something through the Holy Spirit. Maybe you’re an intercessor—or called to be one—and he has a prayer assignment for you. Maybe you’re just meant to be connected in a specific way with others, and so what they’re going through, you do too, in a spiritual sense, and vice versa. The important thing is to trust God. He gives us what we need, himself, so that we don’t have to scrutinize and analyze every little thing or worry about conditions or circumstances. Trust God. Dig deeper, endure longer, pray while waiting.

 

If you have a feeling you can’t shake, maybe you’re not supposed to shake it off. Maybe you hold onto it like you hold onto hope. It can be hard, frustrating, and at the point of being chronically exhausting, but not impossible. God is on the verge of rescuing some people out of their uniquely challenging situations. I see him with a specialized yet multi-purpose prybar in his hand and fire in his eyes.